Manuel overhears a conversation about Costa, a small Horsfield tortoise with an enormous personality and a beak that seems to arrive three minutes before the rest of him. Naturally, Manuel wasn’t listening. He just happened to be nearby.

Humans have some very strange ideas about sunbathing. Manuel explains why, when you’re a tortoise, catching a few rays is considerably more important than getting a tan.

BREAKING NEWS: Scientists confirm nature has finally been updated. Version 2.0 comes with plastic grass, no bugs and almost none of that troublesome nature. Manuel investigates what humans have been up to.

Manuel has been studying humans for many years, and he’s finally worked out why they all own smartphones. Unfortunately, it seems to involve an alarming number of photographs of tortoise bottoms.

Why do humans think carrots belong in baths? Professor Manuel investigates one of the internet’s oddest tortoise myths, with plenty of laughs and a serious message about evidence-based care.

Are petfluencers helping tortoises or simply chasing likes? Manuel shares his thoughts on social media trends, what really matters to tortoises, and why natural behaviour should always come first.

Why do humans keep picking tortoises up? Manuel explains why what feels affectionate to us can be stressful for them, and what they would much rather we did instead.

Manuel explains why choosing the right lights isn’t the first question you should ask. Discover what really matters for keeping a healthy Mediterranean tortoise.

Morning, humans. My human made a terrible mistake yesterday. She left her laptop open. Naturally…I had a look. Now first of all… There are some lovely humans on these tortoise groups. Beautiful photographs. Wonderful enclosures. Happy tortoises. Helpful advice. I even spotted a few rather attractive lady tortoises. Imagine my disappointment when I realised they were only on the screen. Anyway… I started reading the comments. Good grief. You lot are savage. One human asks a qu

Why do tortoises chase shoes, bump into legs and seem determined to cause mischief? Manuel explains the surprising reasons behind these larger-than-life behaviours, with humour, real tortoise knowledge and practical advice for owners.