Time to Sunbathe
- Aug 21
- 3 min read
Manuel’s Guide to Humans
Humans…
Gather round.
Seeing as we’re enjoying so much lovely sunshine at the moment…
I thought it was about time I explained what your tortoise is actually doing when they sit outside
looking as though they’ve forgotten how to park.
One leg over here…
Their neck stretched out…
Their shell leaning at a funny angle…
I know exactly what you’re thinking.
“Poor thing… that doesn’t look very comfortable.”
Or somebody inevitably says…
“Quick! Straighten them up!”
Bless you.
Please don’t.
They’re not stuck.
They’re not wonky.
And they’re certainly not waiting for the AA.
You see, humans are forever saying,
“Look at him having a lovely sunbathe.”
No.
Your tortoise isn’t simply sunbathing.
They’re collecting the energy that powers almost every part of their body.
A bit like charging a battery…
Only this battery was designed by nature millions of years before humans invented electricity.
Just like you plug your phone in every night…
Your tortoise plugs into the sun.
Different batteries.
Same principle.
Nature invented solar power millions of years before humans thought of putting panels on their
roofs.
To be fair…
You did eventually catch up.
Only a few million years behind.
Now here’s the really clever bit.
When your tortoise stretches out their neck…
Extends their legs…
Or tilts their shell towards the sun…
They’re not trying to look dramatic.
Every tiny adjustment helps them collect a little more of the sun’s warmth and light.
They’re simply improving the signal.
Those long legs and that stretched neck are packed with blood vessels that warm quickly in the
sunshine, carrying that warmth deep inside the body.
Even their tummy is warming up.
Not because they’re lying on warm ground…
But because the sun’s energy reaches right through them.
You think you’re watching a tortoise doing absolutely nothing.
Inside…
An entire factory has just started its morning shift.
Their muscles wake up.
Their digestion starts humming.
Their immune system clocks in for work.
Their body begins making proper use of the UVB and the calcium in their food.
Only then are they properly ready for breakfast.
Perhaps a few fresh weeds…
A nibble of their favourite flowers…
Or, if you’ve been especially organised…
A nice helping of my very own High Fibre Meadow Forage with a sprinkle of tasty Manuel’s Secret
Blend Wildflowers. (I was promised extra dandelions if I mentioned that.)
Now that’s worth getting out of bed for.
Which brings me to another curious human habit.
Some of you let your tortoise wander around the living room because you think,
“He needs some exercise.”
Well…
Thank you.
I know your heart is in the right place.
Your tortoise might even disappear under the sofa just to keep you entertained.
But unless your carpet has recently evolved to produce sunshine…
They’re still missing the important bit.
Glass blocks almost all of the UVB they need.
The floor doesn’t warm them the way the sun does.
The window isn’t the sky.
So while you’re pleased they’ve had a little stroll…
Your tortoise is quietly wondering where you’ve hidden the sunshine.
Now, before anyone rushes to the comments…
Heat lamps…
UVB tubes…
UVA lighting…
They’re wonderful inventions.
Here in Britain, many tortoises genuinely depend on them during parts of the year.
But they were invented to copy something.
Nature wrote the original.
So the next time you see your tortoise leaning at a funny angle…
Please don’t think,
“Blimey… he looks like he’s had a heavy night on the booze.”
Think instead,
“He’s collecting the sunshine that powers his whole body.”
Because humans…
Your tortoise wasn’t designed to plug into the wall.
They were designed to plug into the oldest power source on Earth.
The Sun.
With love, Manuel x
Enjoying Manuel’s lessons?
There’s plenty more where this came from!
Click “Manuel’s Club” to join our growing community.
Comments