Manuel overhears a conversation about Costa, a small Horsfield tortoise with an enormous personality and a beak that seems to arrive three minutes before the rest of him. Naturally, Manuel wasn’t listening. He just happened to be nearby.

Humans have some very strange ideas about sunbathing. Manuel explains why, when you’re a tortoise, catching a few rays is considerably more important than getting a tan.

BREAKING NEWS: Scientists confirm nature has finally been updated. Version 2.0 comes with plastic grass, no bugs and almost none of that troublesome nature. Manuel investigates what humans have been up to.

Manuel has been studying humans for many years, and he’s finally worked out why they all own smartphones. Unfortunately, it seems to involve an alarming number of photographs of tortoise bottoms.

Why do humans think carrots belong in baths? Professor Manuel investigates one of the internet’s oddest tortoise myths, with plenty of laughs and a serious message about evidence-based care.

Are petfluencers helping tortoises or simply chasing likes? Manuel shares his thoughts on social media trends, what really matters to tortoises, and why natural behaviour should always come first.

Why do humans keep picking tortoises up? Manuel explains why what feels affectionate to us can be stressful for them, and what they would much rather we did instead.