BREAKING NEWS Scientists Confirm Nature Has Finally Been Updated.
Version 2.0 now comes with plastic grass.
The bugs have been removed too.
Apparently…
It’s just like the original.
Only without…
…the nature.
Right…
I’m about to say something very controversial.
Some of you won’t agree.
Some of you will.
Some of you will be halfway through typing before you’ve even finished reading.
That’s alright.
I’m an opinionated tortoise.
I’ve earned the right.
So…
What in the sun-baked plastic picnic chair is AstroTurf?
Humans…
May I ask you something?
When you open your back door on a beautiful summer morning…
Do you stand there…
Take a deep breath…
…and think,
“Ahhh… the smell of fresh plastic.”
No.
You love the smell of fresh grass.
You love gardens because they’re alive.
So why do some of you think I’d enjoy living on plastic?
It doesn’t feel like grass.
It feels like walking across melted Lego.
It doesn’t grow my breakfast.
It doesn’t grow flowers.
It doesn’t grow weeds.
If anything…
You have to get the vacuum cleaner out to keep it clean.
And if it needs a vacuum cleaner…
…it’s probably not part of my natural habitat.
It doesn’t grow long grasses that brush against my shell as I wander past.
It doesn’t create cool, shady places to disappear into.
If anything…
It gets hotter…
And hotter…
Reflecting the summer sun straight back at me.
It doesn’t buzz with insects.
It doesn’t change with the seasons.
It doesn’t hide me from the world.
It’s just a green sheet of hot plastic…
…pretending to be nature.
And don’t even get me started…
On plastic plants.
In a tortoise enclosure.
What in the melted flip-flop are you honestly thinking?
Plastic plants?
Really?
You might as well put your auntie’s sideboard in there.
We’d probably get more enjoyment out of that.
At least it would cast a bit of shade.
A real plant grows.
It smells.
It changes.
It gives us places to hide.
Places to explore.
Places to browse.
It creates our little world.
A plastic plant?
It just sits there.
Looking…
Plastic.
And when we get bored…
Some of us might even take a bite.
Imagine us choking on a piece of plastic.
We’d feel a bit like our sea turtle cousins…
Surrounded by plastic that doesn’t belong in their world.
It doesn’t belong in theirs…
And it doesn’t belong in mine either.
Humans…
Nature writes a new story every morning.
New smells.
New flowers.
New weeds.
New places to explore.
AstroTurf…
Is the same page…
Every single day.
Nature isn’t something you can roll out from a tube.
It’s something that’s alive.
With love,
Love
Manuel the Tortoise x
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